How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.
I will praise you in the storm. I will lift my hands in surrender even when my world is crashing around me. I will say "thank you" when I am hurt and the world seems to hate me. For He is God and I am not. He has an unfailing love for me that can never be matched by anything on earth. He has given me the gift of salvation. And though I sometimes choose to forget about it, He has been good to me. He has blessed me so much.
I say these things because I have just come to the place where I can lift my hands and praise Him for everything. The good and the bad. The hurt and the redemption. He really has been good to me. He has blessed me by healing my relationship with my dad and brother. He has given me closer friends than I've ever had before. He has shown me love through people I've never even invested in. He has given me job opportunities and opportunities to pour into other girls' lives. He has blessed this blog in a way that I never expected and never though was possible. He has loved me. I was blind to these things for so long. I took them for granted and just focused on the negative.
I can honestly and humbly say that I am in such a good place right now. This is my 40th blog post and I have learned so incredibly much about my God and myself since that first post. I have seen changes in me that I never knew could happen. I have so much more learning to do, but I'm so ready to bring on the school year with new eyes! I want to give myself away to freshman girls and invest in their lives like I wish someone would have invested in mine. I want to use my little duplex with Katy as a safe place for them to come and a place for the Navigators Student Ministry to thrive. I want to love like my Savior loves me. I'm so eager to show people that I've changed! I'm so ready to continue this growth and discipline that God has started in me!
I'll keep you posted on things that God is doing in and through me this year. He has already done so much I can hardly stand it! I'm so happy! Not just joyful in the Lord, but truly happy! I know this feeling will not last and things may change once I'm thrown into reality, but I know I can stand strong and I challenge you to do the same. Thank you for your support simply by reading this blog for your encouraging words. I can't express just how much joy that has brought to my life. I'm praying for you.
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